Blue Christmas
by louiselane
Summary: When Wesley is really depressed about the holidays, he receives a visit to make him change his mind about Christmas.


**TITLE:** Blue Christmas  
**AUTHOR:** Louise When Wesley is really depressed about the holidays, he receives a visit to make him change his mind about Christmas.  
**RATING:** PG-13  
**CLASSIFIED:** Angst  
**DISCLAIMER:** None of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction belong to me. They belong to the cast and crew of Angel, WB  
**DISTRIBUTION:** Permission granted to Fanfiction Net, Blue Moon Rising, A Whole New World. If anyone else wants to archive it, please let me know.  
**FEEDBACK:** Very much appreciated. Please e-mail me at   
**PAIRING: **Fred/Wes and Illyria/Wes  
**CHARACTERS:** Fred, Wes, Illyria, Cordelia, River  
**SPOILER:** Set after The Girl in Question  
**DEDICATION:** To Elizabeth for beta reading this fan fiction and help me with my English, and for the wonderful Fan Forum and Wesley/Fred survivors

Wesley awoke that morning very sad. It was Christmas Eve and he was lonely again. Fred had been dead for several weeks and he couldn't stand to live without her anymore.

He decided to choose a gun and kill himself, when a bright light blinded him.

"Fred?" he asked before noticing Cordelia glowing in his room.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Cordelia? What are you doing here?" Wesley asked, confused.

"Saving you from doing something stupid," she answered sarcastically.

"I have no reason to live. Leave me alone!" He yelled angrily.

"Sorry. Can't." Cordelia smiled. "I came here to warn you. Three spirits will come to visit you tonight."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? To show you can't give up your life," Cordelia explained before she disappeared.

Wesley spent the whole day drinking, depressed about the holiday, and ignoring Illyria's questions.

""What are you doing?" the blue goddess asked, curious.

"I'm not in the mood to talk, Illyria." Wesley answered morosely, like always. "Leave me alone."

"But you are not well. You keep making that annoying noise with your nose and drinking more of that poison." Illyria pointed out. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong you twit!"

"Something is wrong." Illyria insisted, making Wesley lose his temper.

"Do you want to know what is wrong? All right. Today is Christmas Eve and I was hoping to spend the holiday with Fred, but she isn't here, is she? No. Instead, I'm spending my Christmas with… you!"

"I can pretend to be her again if you want. But you never will ask me."

"No. No. Enough with the lies. I can't stand that again."

"I will leave you alone… If that is what you want…"

After Illyria left, Wesley was still sitting in his chair drinking and crying when he realized it was already midnight.

Suddenly, another bright light blinded him. This time, Fred was standing there.

"Fred?" he asked, confused. "It's really you?"

"It's me, Wesley. I'm here." She caressed his face as she kissed him.

"Why?"

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Past. Come with me. I'm going to show you something." Fred pulled his hand and traveled with him into time.

"Where are we?" Wesley asked, curious.

"Look around. It was when you decided to stay in Los Angeles to help Angel and Cordelia." Fred pointed to Wesley having breakfast with Cordelia and Angel. You three became more than co-workers… more than partners… you became friends… a family."

"Yes, it's true." Wesley nodded.

Fred took his hand again and they once more traveled in time. "Here. Remember when you started to have feelings for me? How wonderful you were helping me when Lorne's club was destroyed. You protected me like nobody else did. You saved me, Wesley."

Wesley didn't say anything; he couldn't. He still was too depressed.

"Then we came to work at Wolfram & Hart. I started to have feelings for you and we finally got together."

"But you died after that." Wesley reminded her.

"Yes, but I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, Wesley. I love you. Remember that."

"Do you?"

"Yes. Don't give up yet." Fred kissed him deeply before vanishing.

When Wesley opened his eyes, he was alone again in his apartment. Suddenly a blue light shone and Wesley saw Illyria.

"Illyria?" Wesley asked, bewildered.

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present. I came here to show you that even without Fred you still can live."

"How?"

"Take my hand." Illyria opened a portal and pulled Wesley into it with her.

"But your powers…"

"I'm a Christmas spirit, Wesley. I can do whatever I want, so I still have my powers," Illyria explained as they went to Fred's lab and saw Illyria ask for Wesley's help. "Do you remember when I came to you and asked you to help me understand this world?"

"Yes."

"And when you took away my powers… to let me live?" Illyria and Wesley relived that scene next.

"I couldn't let you die, Illyria. I still had hope that I could bring back Fred somehow."

"That's why it is so important for you not to give up yet. You can't give up hope."

"Really?"

"Yes." Illyria answered, cocking her head. "Remember that. You can't give up yet." Then she was gone.

Wesley blinked. Was that a dream? he wondered, still mystified.

Another light appeared in his room. He saw a young girl with long, dark hair wearing a blue dress. He didn't recognize her.

"Who are you?"

"I'm River Tam, spirit of Christmas Future."

"Why are you here? Are you related to me?" Wesley asked.

"I'm your great great great great grand daughter… with Fred." River explained.

Wesley opened his mouth to say something but he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.

"I know. It's a big surprise. I'm a big surprise." River smiled at him.

"So… River… If you are my great great great great grand daughter, how does Fred come back?" Wesley asked curiously.

"I can't say that. I'm not allowed. Fred will return to you and you'll start a big new family together. I'm the living proof of that." River smiled. "You can't give up yet."

"You people keep saying that."

"Because it's true." River grinned, making Wesley also grin.

"You know… I can see the family resemblance. You have Fred's smile."

"And your eyes." River pointed out before she started to glow. "You must live, Wesley. Remember that."

Wesley awoke in his chair, frightened. Illyria was looking at him. "Illyria? What happened?"

"You were dreaming, Wesley." Illyria explained. "And still making noises with your nose."

Wesley started to laugh like a mad man before kissing Illyria on the cheeks.

"How dare you?" Illyria glared at him.

"Don't worry my little Smurf. I'm fine." Wesley laughed like a crazy man as he searched his bookshelf for spell books. "Don't worry, Fred. I'll not give up on us."

_Five Years later _

Wesley was changing into a tux for an important Christmas party at Angel's new apartment. "Honey, are you ready? We're late!"

"Sorry!" Fred appeared wearing a green dress and holding a baby in her arms. "Our little vampire was hungry." she giggled. "But I think she'll be sleepy by now." Fred smiled. "Are you sure it's a good idea to bring River to the party? She's only 3 months old."

"She'll be fine, Fred. Plus the gang is dying to see her again. They haven't seen her since her birth."

"That's true." Fred smiled before picking up her purse. She gave the baby to Wesley. "What are you looking at?" she asked as she noticed Wesley staring at her.

"You." He kissed her passionately, River still in his arms. "I can't believe I almost lost you."

"I know. It was a nightmare but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Wesley grinned after handing River to Fred. "Ready?"

"Always."

**The End**


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